Monday, September 27, 2010

A Brief Dream of Hell

A few nights ago I dreamed that I was in Hell. In my dream Hell was an vast subterranean hotel. Close to the surface was Level A - on this level each hotel room held the soul of a dead person whose last name began with the letter A. The next level down was B, etc.

My last name begins with R, so I took the elevator down to Floor R hoping to find some of my ancient ancestors to chat with. I was walking through a dimly lit carpeted hallway lined with doors when I realized it would be hard to find any of my kinfolk without knowing their specific room numbers - I needed a directory!

As I was trying to find the Phone Book of Souls, I ended up being informed by a doctor overlooking the residents of Floor R that I had strayed too deep into Hell and that I would have to stay there forever, so I might as well find a room for myself.

Luckily I had a Moustache Phone with me, so I was able to call up four Moustache Commandos to distract the doctor while I made my getaway to the lobby on the surface. This part of the dream was really exciting. Like a spy thriller.

Unfortunately I never got to look inside any of the rooms before I made my escape. During the dream I was actually wondering to myself what the hotel rooms of my Neandertal ancestors would look like...